Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Holy crap!

It's been almost a year since I've written anything here! I shall remedy that.

If it's any excuse, my doctor thinks that I might have ADD....so...there.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It's A Friggin' Dog, For Chrissake!

And it was basically a gift from Teddy Kennedy.

Are you gonna tell Teddy to take his dog and shove it up his ass?

No, you say "thank you" and accept the gift.

Obama never "promised" that he'd get a shelter dog. He said that they had a preference in getting a shelter dog.

Everybody calm the hell down!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Beware of Douchebags in Powdered Wigs

Do me a favor - if you haven't seen it, take a look at:

This Guy in a powdered wig getting all pissed off - or "Mr. Teabags"

My very best friend for (oy) 31 years sent this to me, asking what I thought. He said that the "message was really needed now." He also knows that I think he's a right wing tool that gobbles up and spits out the talking points without thinking.

I have issues with this joker, "motivational speaker" Bob Basso. First of all, I'm kind of hinky about people dressing up like our founding fathers and commenting on modern times via their words from the 18th Century. To say that Thomas Paine would have felt this way or that about something today just gives me the creeps. Because the truth is - we don't know what they'd say because they cannot take any of this in the proper context. I do believe, however, that a discussion can be had as to what conclusions one might draw from their writings at the time. But do it in modern street clothes and say "This is what I believe Thomas Paine would say (about this or that) because, as he wrote in "Common Sense" - "Blah blah blah...etc."

So let's take a look at Mr. "Look at me, I'm wearing a wig and I'm pissed off"'s issues one at a time. Follow along, won't you?


1) "America is a nation of cowards"

- Eric Holder made this statement referring to citizens facing problems with race relations and having that discussion. It's true. We don't really confront it or talk about it. We sweep it under the rug. Yes, we've come pretty far since the days of slavery, but we're not where we need to be. Do you realize that what some consider to be "the last lynching" of a black man by the KKK was in 1981? That's the year after I graduated from high school - a man was lynched simply because of the color of his skin. One would assume that it was the fifties....or maybe the sixties....at least pre-Civil Rights Act. But it was the year that the first woman was elected to the Supreme Court; the year that Blondie said that The Tide Is High, Dolly Parton sang about working 9 to 5, the year that Kool and The Gang sang "Celebration"; the year of Three's Company and The Jeffersons and Dallas and The Dukes of Hazzard; and the year of Chariots of Fire and Reds and On Golden Pond. It was a scant 28 years ago, and it should have been so much longer. Bob takes this out of context to suggest that somebody said that Americans are chicken - and it's just not true.

2) Congress passed the Stimulus bill (yes, he said "spending bill" - but it's a stimulus bill...and yes, stimulus requires spending) without reading it.

- And his point would be? Congress also passed the "Patriot Act," which took several amendments in the Bill of Rights and wiped its ass with them, without reading it. Where was the hew and cry then? In "Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore filmed John Conyers saying that the Patriot Act wasn't read before voting on it, and indeed most bills are not read before voting. These bills are hundreds and hundreds of pages long and are broken up among staffers to read and summarize. If we required that Congress read all bills before voting, nothing would ever get done. But suddenly, it's an issue. So it's okay for the Patriot Act to be passed without reading, but not the Stimulus bill. Why?

3) Secure borders and enforce immigration.

- I don't have a problem with this. Businesses that want cheap labor (agriculture, construction, hospitality, etc) are the ones that have the problem. Yeah, we'll do the occasional sweep of a farm or slaughterhouse that hires illegals and fine and deport the workers - but what happens to the companies that hired them? They hold out the back of their hand for the government to smack lightly with two fingers and listen politely when fingers are wagged and they're warned not to do it again....then wait for the coyotes driving the vans from Tijuana and Juarez to bring them more employees. And the companies that do this hiring are not fined or shut down because they contribute too much money to politicians. Does anybody realize that the average member of Congress has to bring in more than $40K per day in contributions for his next election each day he or she's in office? I'll get to that later....

4) Stop exporting industry to foreign shores.

- See my comments above. It's all about the race to the bottom - cheapest labor and cheapest resources for the cheapest goods so the corporation can make the biggest profit. My buddy and I have gone round and round before re: US Auto Industry. Sure, give GM a tax cut - they're sure to use that tax cut to create more jobs in America, right? No? They built a plant in Mexico so Juan and Pepe and Eduardo can make American cars for the American market? Even our candy - when I was a kid, there was a Hershey's chocolate plant in the next town from me. They shut it down about a year ago. Don't worry, though, there will be plenty of chocolate at Easter. They built another one to replace it...in Mexico. Remember the Hershey slogan from a few years back? "Hershey is...the Great American Chocolate Bar!" Yeah, but it's turning into "
Hershey es la Gran Barra Mexicana de Chocolate!" Don't know if that'd play well in Poughkeepsie. True, there's a plant in Hershey, PA - but it's mostly for tours and such. All the real cranking out of the chocolate happens south of the border. I will never forgive Clinton for getting behind NAFTA and CAFTA. And I hate to say it..but that little crazy dude Ross Perot was right! There WAS a "giant sucking sound" of American companies moving jobs to Mexico and elsewhere.

5) Say no to bailouts

- Well, because of the repeal of the Roosevelt era's Glass-Stiegel Act, there was no line of separation between consumer banks, investment banks, and insurance companies. This repeal (deregulation) allowed these companies to merge and become "too big to fail" If they were all allowed to fail (no bailout) it would be even more disastrous to the economy. Catastrophic, in fact. Google "Phil Gramm" and "Glass Stiegel Act" and see what you find. Yes, John McCain's lead economic adviser (and rumored to be the Secretary of the Treasury had McCain won) spearheaded the repeal of that act. You remember him - he's the guy that said that America had become a "nation of whiners." Good thing he didn't say that we were a nation of cowards....cuz that'll piss off a guy in a white wig and radio hosts that love to take statements out of context....

6) E-Verify system to ensure that someone's a citizen before they're hired.

- See #3 and #4. It's all about cheap labor and donations to campaign funds....

7) Repeal congress' ability to vote their own pay raises

- I would agree...but then, since Congress holds the nation's purse strings, who would okay the raise? Would the voters do so at election time? So....if we could work that out, I would agree with it...but in my opinion it doesn't go far enough. We also have to either severely limit, or eliminate, Congress' ability to receive "speaking fees" as well as gifts and money from lobbyists. Again, this goes back to the over $40K a day for reelection funds. Personally, I think that elections should be taxpayer funded - it would take the $$ incentive out of lawmaking, get rid of lobbyists, and make politicians beholden to ALL of us, and not just corporations. And it would free up fundraising time for doing the People's business.

8) Balance the Federal Budget

- Clinton did this - in fact, there was a budget surplus when he left. I wonder what happened to that, and why Bush borrowed more than all other presidents COMBINED? And where the hew and cry was four years ago when we KNEW Bush was borrowing and spending like a drunken sailor on shore leave with a black American Express card?? Also, if all you want to do is cut taxes and give tax breaks to the wealthiest of individuals and companies...where is the revenue coming from? (Hint: The Laffer curve is laffable.....)

9) Establish two term limits for Congress

- I'm kind of hinky on this one. If the voters feel that someone is doing a good job representing them, why limit it to two terms? Term limits kind of build in an excuse that the electorate is allowed to be lazy and not pay attention. If everyone payed attention, everyone would be outraged, and we'd see the changes at the ballot box without term limits.

10) Stop Congressional Pensions - full salaries after retirement.

- I agree...why should they get full salaries as well as paid to be on the board of directors for corporations that they helped while they were in Congress? Possible exceptions would be people like Robert Byrd (or Strom Thurmond, if he was alive) - because, realistically, who the hell is gonna hire a guy in his 60s or 70s? I know that it's age discrimination, but there's the law, and there's also what really happens...

11) Congress should pay insurance premiums

- You know what I say? Medicine shouldn't be based on one's ability to pay or the type on insurance they have. If my fingers get cut off and I don't have insurance, or my insurance doesn't cover reattaching, I don't think I should have to chose which fingers I don't need because I can't afford to have them all reattached. As seen in Michael Moore's "Sicko" (and verified by Googling - see, I like to do my research), in tapes made by then-President Nixon, Henry Kaiser's Kaiser Permanente insurance was pitched to Nixon as a for-profit insurance company with the idea that the profit would be made by providing LESS care. And the HMO was born. So I agree that we should all pay the same when it comes to health care. And I believe that health care should not be for-profit. I am in favor of a universal, one payer system, like the rest of the countries in the west. And PLEASE don't give me that old "they have to wait for three months to see a doctor in Canada" bullshit - sorry, it's just not true.

12) Throw them out - throw all congress members who did not read the stimulus bill before voting for it.

- see #2 above. Or, to use the vernacular, "Whitey, PLEASE!"

13) Increase salary for the Armed Forces

- You bet your ass we should. We should also look up all those Congressmen and women who didn't support increasing salaries, veteran's benefits, etc. and ask them why they opposed. Then clonk their heads together a'la The Three Stooges. (Note: I don't know if is it legal to clonk the head of the former President against the former Republican nominee for President's head. Is it?)

14) Start no war unless you intend to win

- Well, duh! However, we should also start no war that we have no reason or good intelligence for (Vietnam, Korea), nor should we start one preemptively (see Iraq War, The). Re: intending to win - refer to Gen. Eric Shinseki, who stated that we needed 500,000 troops in order to win and hold Iraq. Dandy Don Rumsfeld only wanted to send 120,000. Result? The Bush administration asked for Shinseki's resignation. How dare he contradict Donald "I stand at my desk for eight hours" Rumsfeld!

15) Make English the official language of the US

- English is already the de facto language of the US. However, you cannot have a statue in NY harbor that says "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free" and then tell the huddled masses that we won't communicate with them until they learn English. When I went to France - you know what happened when I told them "non-parlais Francais"? Those that could, spoke English to me. If they couldn't...they not only communicated with me via gestures and broken English and French, but then they tried to teach me a little French in order to make being in France a little easier on me. This was, however, before we removed their name from our fries. Don't know what the post-french fry attitude would be. Perhaps like this:

Me: Parler vous anglais? (Do you speak English?)
French Guy: Non, monsieur. Parlais vous francais? (No, sir. Do you speak French?)
Me: Umm...non. Je parler...um....anglais....um...but, je...um...can parler francais um.....a little...um...petit...um...bit. (various ramblings about only speaking a little French)
French Guy: Allez vous baisent, monsieur! Vous ne devriez pas avoir rebaptisé de pommes frites! La "Freedom Fries" mon âne! ( Go fuck yourself, sir! You should never have renamed french fries! "Freedom Fries" my ass!)

Maybe not, though. Generally, I found the French helpful - with the exception of a certain waiter who could not speak or understand English when three male buddies and I tried to eat in his cafe. Two of us had ravioli, and two of us had pizza (which, oddly, had an egg cracked into the center of it - either before or after baking). Why were we eating Italian in Paris? Because they were the only things we understood on the menu and our waiter "couldn't" translate. Fast forward to two nights later - some girls in our group said "Oh, you guys have to come with us to this cafe - our waiter was SO cool!" Imagine the amazement of my three buddies and I when we were led to our "ravioli and egg pizza" cafe, and the same waiter looks at the girls and says, in accented but clear English, "Ahhhh! You have come back! Wonderful!" It's amazing what blonde hair, soft skin and tits can do for you in Paris. And in Germany, Belgium and Holland, people generally spoke English with me. Throughout the countries in Europe they also had brochures and forms in multiple languages, including English. They didn't insist that I know their language before coming to their country. If we're going to be a melting pot, then let's BE a melting pot - and help those who don't know English to learn the language (perhaps with basic language learning shows on PBS, introductory English tapes or DVDs, etc.)

16) Don't give illegal aliens tax dollars

- We wouldn't have illegal aliens if they had no reason to be here (ie jobs - see previous). Can't we help to better conditions in their own countries? And if illegals have kids here, the kids are US citizens (indeed, Bobby Gindall himself was born in the US to non-US citizens - he might be an anchor baby!) Do we not assist the US citizen child if they need it because the parents aren't citizens? Do we not give services to parents of the US citizen child if they need them? "Your kid can eat - the food stamps are for him. You two are on your own. We'll be watching you." What's the answer?

17) Abolish the Electoral College

- Back in high school/early college, I favored the abolition of the Electoral College. Why not a direct vote by the people? Then it was explained to me that it wouldn't be a good idea and why. It has to do with the "tyranny of the majority" - just because the majority thinks that something is good and right and valid, doesn't make it so. The Electoral College system makes things just a bit more fair for the minority. But why ask me? My first presidential vote was for John Anderson....what the hell do I know?

18) Two Years Mandatory Universal Service

- I don't disagree, but I will say this: Why is this such a wonderful idea now, and yet when it was proposed by Clinton, Gore, and Kerry they were mocked incessantly by the right? Hmmm? "You can't force somebody to volunteer!" or "AmeriCorps, Peace Corps - screw that! Put 'em in the Army! That'll make 'em grow up in a hurry!"

19) Protect US currency

- Where was this guy when Bush stated that the devaluation of the US dollar wasn't a big deal? And somebody please, once and for all, explain to me how the Federal Reserve - which is a group of privately held banking institutions - backs our currency (They're called Federal Reserve Notes) and the US Treasury doesn't? Look at it this way: if one looks at any organization, the Treasurer is in charge of the treasury - which can be anything from a bank account to a few dollars in one of those little gray locking boxes to a piggy bank. In this last scenario, the Federal Reserve would be the equivalent to Phil and Steve, two guys hanging out on the corner.

"Hey, Phil! Steve! Would you guys take care of this money?"
"Sure...but aren't you the Treasurer?"
"Yeah, but I've gotta look after alcohol, tobacco and firearms and a shitload of other stuff."
"Oh..okay."

20) After 9/11, the people in power didn't ask us to contribute, only the armed forces.

- Wrong. George W. Bush told us to go shopping and go on vacations. Cuz he's...you know....a patriot. And if we don't shop...the terrorists win.

and finally,

21) Tell them "I'm mad as hell, and I want my country back!"

- I liked this line better when it was "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" from the film "Network." That this powdered wigged bag of douche uses this line is chock full of irony. "Network" is a satire about the corporate uses and abuses of the media. Do you remember back to the days of Huntley and Brinkley on NBC and Walter Cronkite on CBS? Back then, the network news departments were completely separate from the entertainment programming divisions - they weren't beholden to sponsors or even the people who ran the network. They didn't have to continually attract sponsors have high ratings. Because they had a need to be impartial in order to report the truth. Now the news has to turn a profit, which is why there's a revolving door at the anchor desk, and some stories can't be pursued because the sponsors wouldn't like it, or the corporation that owns the network would be embarrassed, etc.

Basically, my view re: getting out of the mess we're in is this - most of the problem stemmed from a) deregulation and b) greed. Ideally, the stimulus package should get construction and infrastructure jobs going again, and the hope is that the effect will snowball. Economists on both the right and left have encouraged this. According to Dr. Ravi Batra, an economist at Southern Methodist University (as well as many other economists), 70 to 80 percent of our economy is consumer based - that's people buying crap or paying people to do crap (goods and services). 13 to 15 percent of our economy is investment - stocks, securities, etc. Most of the attention now is focused on that 15-17 percent - yeah, well, we've gotta save the banks. And Wall Street needs seeing to. But what about the 70-80 percent? People can't buy crap and pay others to do crap for them if they're not making money. Since the 80's, wages have flatlined and even decreased for the middle class - basically taking the gas out of the 70-80 percent engine of the economy. So investing in infrastructure construction - yes, spending money - will create construction jobs. These people will have money, so they'll have money to buy crap and pay people to do crap. The service and retail (most of our employment) and manufacturing sectors (though our manufacturing base is shrinking faster than a guy's balls after diving into a Minnesota lake in the dead of winter) will have to hire people to keep up with the crap needed for the people doing infrastructure construction Then those that work in service and retail and manufacturing will have money to buy crap and have people do crap for them, and they'll create more demand, which will create more jobs..and the whole thing snowballs. EVERYBODY does better - the poor will have work because there's so much demand for labor and they'll raise themselves up from poverty and start to have just a little dignity. The middle class will do better - demand goes up, productivity goes up, wages go up. And the wealthy will do better too - more demand means more sales and more services..and the companies that create the crap or hire out people to do crap for people turn a bigger profit.

The only alternate solution I've heard from the right is tax cuts (because they've worked SO well before) and a budget that had no numbers in it (Really, John Boehner? That's what you're coming with? Okay....). We've seen it time and time again - give the wealthy a tax cut, and the snake oil they're selling is that if the wealthy are saving money on taxes, they'll have more money to hire people and create jobs. Horse poo. They're going to make their cars and chocolate in Mexico - but they'll keep their tax cuts, thank you very much. Cuz it's better for the bottom line to cut labor - it increases profits for the shareholders, you know. The people out of work - they'll find SOMEthing for themselves to do, I'm sure. As long as the shareholders (the 15-17 percent of the economy) are doing well. Yep, gotta keep them happy - they're 15 to 17 percent of the economy! Sure, nobody's buying the crap that the company makes...nobody can afford to.....so...we'll cut more jobs to shore up those profits for our stockholders! That's the ticket! That 15-17 percent - that's what you have to look out for, you know!

And where was this guy in the powder wig when Bush was steering the ship of state into an iceburg? Where was he when there were Republican majorities in congress - When Congress sent spending bill after spending bill to Bush, and he signed just about every single one of them? Where were you, powdered wig guy? I call partisan bullshit on the whole presentation - it shouldn't matter who's the President and who's in Congress. Sure, that's Mr. Powdered Wig's premise - but his timing is, at best, highly suspect.

This stuff gives me a headache in my eye.....

I've been remiss......

...and haven't been a good little blogger. It's amazing how debilitating moods can be: you start out a bit crabby, which moves to feeling "a bit down," then before you know it, it feels like you're in a dark pit that seems impossible to climb out of.

It's better now. I have more on my mind. I'll get to it in a bit.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Terry Jeffrey Is Such An Idiot

Terry Jeffrey (known on the Stephanie Miller Show as "The Teeny, Tiny-voiced Republican With A Great Big Dream For America) was just on The Thom Hartmann Show. Thom asked him about Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachman's statements about which members of Congress were "Un-Amercian"...and he said that he didn't hear about it. Where the hell has this guy been? He allegedly works for an alleged news service, and he must have said three times during the interview "No, I didn't hear that." So either he isn't very good at his job, or he's lying. Hmmm...incompetent or a liar....choices, choices, choices......

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Judge not, lest ye be....etc....

Okay, so something's been bugging me for a couple of days. I have a "friend" on Facebook that I knew back in high school - I will not mention her name to protect her anonymity. And Facebook does this "News Feed" thing where you can see if they've become a fan of something or what they've done recently on Facebook. So I get the news feed that this friend had joined a "Yes on Proposition 8" group. Prop. 8, for those not in the know, is on the ballot to change the California Constitution to define marriage as being between a man and a woman, and to basically outlaw gay marriage. The problem that I had with it is not that I simply do not agree with those who would want to change the constitution in order to take away rights. The problem I had was the little quote that accompanied the name of the group that she had joined - and it's unclear if it was her quote, or from the person who started the Facebook group. I'll paraphrase (because I cannot find the original news piece), but it said something to the effect that the person didn't mind gays or lesbians - they just wished that they followed the Ten Commandments.

So let me get this straight: gays and lesbians, no matter how or whether or not they worship, should follow the Ten Commandments. Okay, let's look at the 10, and break it down a bit.

1) No other gods before me
Okay, fine. Let's not get into a discussion as to whether the gods of all faiths are the same god. Things can get messy there. For the sake of argument, let's say that we're talking about Christian gays and lesbians (note to my Facebook "friend" - they exist! I've met them!). So Christian gays and lesbians are okay on the first commandment.

2) No idols or graven images
Some have argued that the symbol of the cross (made of whatever precious metal - diamonds and gemstones optional) constitutes a graven image Again, I'm not going to get into this here. Assuming that gay and lesbian Christians are not more prone to creating golden statues of rams to worship than other Christians, let's clear them on this one.

3) Don't take God's name in vain
This is one that has puzzled me for some time. Is God's name "God"? Is it "Yahweh"? Or "Jehovah"? And if His name is indeed "God" - can't we at least forgive those who take his name in vain when they smash their thumb or have an orgasm? Oh..and I think a dispensation is in order for any actor doing a David Mamet play. I think the rules are too fuzzy on this one - but let's not assume that gays and lesbians take God's name in vain any more frequently than straight people.

4) Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy
I worked at a "Take-N-Bake" pizza place in my home town for a bit of time. One Sunday, we got an "after church" crowd in - customers in their Sunday best to grab something to take home for lunch or an early dinner - or a "watching the game" snack. One lady once said "It's a shame that you feel that you have to be open on the Lord's day." I felt like saying "I'll tell you what - don't feel the need to go to a store on the Lord's day, get everyone to agree to it, and we won't be open." An example of people who truly take this commandment to heart are Orthodox Jews - from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown they can't even flip a light switch. The rest of us, straight and gay, are guilty.

5) Honor your father and mother
I don't think that Father's Day and Mother's Day alone let anyone off the hook with this one. Straight or gay, let anyone who has not, at some point, thought or screamed, "Mom/Dad! What's wrong with you?? You're driving me crazy!!!" cast the first stone.

6) Thou shalt not kill
Show me statistics that gays and lesbians are murdering people at phenomenal rates? Anybody? Bueller?

7) Thou shalt not steal
See #6, but substitute "stealing stuff" for "murdering people."

8) Thou shalt not commit adultery
Since in my "friend's" world, gay and lesbian people should not marry - adultery isn't really possible for them, is it?

9) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife
Easily answered. Ask just about any Republican man (even "pundits" on Fox) why they like Sarah Palin...and by the third thing they like, somehow "she's hot" is mentioned. And they get this....for lack of a better word, "droolly" look on their face. Now ask them if they're gay. I'm guessing that the percentage is going to be pretty low on that one....

10) Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor
I will have to admit that I believe that gays and lesbians as a group have lied more than others - in only one respect: Most have, at one point or another, had to lie about themselves. And it's been for self-preservation. Gays and lesbians were sent to Dachau and Buchenwald and Auschwitz along with Jews, gypsies, and other non-Aryans. They've been, and still are, beaten and tormented by bigoted people - simply for committing the heinous crime of being different. Just ask a 21 year old man named Matthew Shepard - oh wait...sorry....he was murdered. Can't ask him. Well then, ask Harvey Milk. Wow...really? Murdered too? How about Rebecca Wight who was killed while hiking and camping with her partner along the Appalachian trail in 1988? Here's one that this "Yes on 8" group could maybe get behind: On July 1st, 1999, a gay couple were killed by Matthew and Tyler Williams. Matthew Williams claimed he was "obeying the law of god" because he felt that homosexuality violated God's laws. He also said that he hoped that his actions would inspire further violence against homosexuals and ethnic minorities.

It is amazing to me the kinds of idiotic judgement that so-called Christian people can pass upon their fellow man. They can take one or two Old Testament verses out of context to "prove" that God is against homosexuality, but the simple "Judge not, lest ye be judged" seems to fly right past them. The hypocrisy is absolutely stunning to me, as is the ignorance of scientific fact. I don't want to rain on anybody's scientific or ecumenical parade, but homosexuality occurs in species other than humans. And there is also a genetic component - yes, gay people are born that way. And who made them? If you are of the belief that God creates and is the Creator....then the answer is: God created gay people.

All gay men and lesbian women want to do is possess the same rights that all of us do: the right to share benefits, to enter into full and legal domestic partnerships, to be able to visit each other in the hospital when the doctor's say "family only." They want to affirm their commitment to each other in front of their friends, and have it mean something - not only to them, but in the eyes of the law and, depending on their beliefs, in the eyes of God. I don't think they want to force your church to marry them - no more than I wanted to be married in a church myself. Actually, that's not true. I would have married my wife just about anywhere. But I would not have wanted to be married in a place and by people that didn't want me to be married. Talk about rain on your wedding day, as Alanis once said.....

To Blog, Or Not To Blog....

Some might ask (I know I did), "Isn't it a bit presumptuous to think that anyone (much less all of the web) would care what you have to say?" Well, it would be - if I thought that anyone besides me would care what I have to say. I just have stuff on my mind, and I need to say it. You can read it or not.....agree with it or not. Doesn't really matter. Sometimes one simply has to speak ones mind - if for nothing else, for their own sanity. So this blog will simply be my observations - things that bug me, things that excite me, things that freak me out. It's a place for me to get it out